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Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking)

13 Oct 2024 25 published claims 2 attributable people
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Speakers in the public record

Tristan de MontebelloLenny Rachitsky

Claim mix

belief 11recommendation 4evaluation 4preference 4uncertainty 2

Evidence policy

Every row below preserves an exact excerpt. Identified speakers are linked; unresolved voices are labeled and excluded from people counts.

Claim ledger

The useful parts, with receipts.

25 published records

01 / recommendation

Recommends The Big Leap.

“I was given a book by my first coach, Nathan Seward seven years ago called The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks that I've recommended so many times. And it's based on this idea that we tend to self-sabotage ourselves when we experience too much success or too much happiness. And that that's linked to I think five things that would happen to us when we're growing up. One of them is the... What is it, the wild poppy syndrome or something like that. Like the tallest poppy is the one that's cut first. So if you shine in a family of siblings, then anytime you shine too much we're going to say, "Hey, hey, hey, that's not cool for the others." So that's going to be internalized and hardwired in your body and as an adult, as soon as you start shining a little bit too much, you're going to do the same thing to yourself. So the idea is going from having this point above which you can't be happy to turning it into, he calls it an upward-facing spiral with no upper limit. It's a really exciting and empowering book.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

03 / belief

There's so many things we can discover, so many things that can help us on earth, and we cannot forget how much potential exists outside of our little earth, that we think our whole existence and everything that's ever existed on this one planet, when really we're this tiny, pale blue dot.

“There's so many things we can discover, so many things that can help us on earth, and we cannot forget how much potential exists outside of our little earth, that we think our whole existence and everything that's ever existed on this one planet, when really we're this tiny, pale blue dot.”
Speaker
Lenny Rachitsky
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

04 / belief

Suddenly I'm thinking, wait, I think I have to second guess everything here because I'm not sure about this guy or this person.

“Suddenly I'm thinking, wait, I think I have to second guess everything here because I'm not sure about this guy or this person.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

06 / belief

" You're kind of stuck because you only know how to do the moves you were doing. So we're trying to get people outside of, "I have to be in my mind, or I have to do things that I've memorized how to do" and come back to trusting your natural ability to communicate.

“" You're kind of stuck because you only know how to do the moves you were doing. So we're trying to get people outside of, "I have to be in my mind, or I have to do things that I've memorized how to do" and come back to trusting your natural ability to communicate.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

07 / uncertainty

Maybe I'm going a little bit too long." And it's a little listener that's going to just gently, nicely, say, "Hey, warning, I don't know if you're aware of this.

“Maybe I'm going a little bit too long." And it's a little listener that's going to just gently, nicely, say, "Hey, warning, I don't know if you're aware of this.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

08 / belief

I've been described as a Labrador by my friends. And I think the reason people describe me as a Labrador is because I am so easy to excite.

“I've been described as a Labrador by my friends. And I think the reason people describe me as a Labrador is because I am so easy to excite.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

09 / belief

I think the only thing I want to leave people with is again, this idea of how transformational tackling speaking can be, and the more constrained you feel with your speaking, the more transformational it will be to your life.

“I think the only thing I want to leave people with is again, this idea of how transformational tackling speaking can be, and the more constrained you feel with your speaking, the more transformational it will be to your life.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

10 / belief

We just pulled them up and played them. And then, I shared some of the tips that I learned in the class that we took, just like, "Try it this way" or "Try not to focus on being correct.

“We just pulled them up and played them. And then, I shared some of the tips that I learned in the class that we took, just like, "Try it this way" or "Try not to focus on being correct.”
Speaker
Lenny Rachitsky
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

11 / belief

The greatest puzzle that I think that I've had in my life, and I think just for most people, is trying to figure out what to do with their life.

“The greatest puzzle that I think that I've had in my life, and I think just for most people, is trying to figure out what to do with their life.”
Speaker
Lenny Rachitsky
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

13 / belief

Just giving a made up talk for a minute with words you have to integrate, and concepts. And I think just doing that makes a regular talk so much easier also, because you don't have to do that.

“Just giving a made up talk for a minute with words you have to integrate, and concepts. And I think just doing that makes a regular talk so much easier also, because you don't have to do that.”
Speaker
Lenny Rachitsky
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

14 / belief

" Sometimes I think about just having a sibling and the pain that if I had a brother, if he just hit me, the pain that would come from that, but just then having the brother would be so much worth it, even if he's hitting me all this time.

“" Sometimes I think about just having a sibling and the pain that if I had a brother, if he just hit me, the pain that would come from that, but just then having the brother would be so much worth it, even if he's hitting me all this time.”
Speaker
Lenny Rachitsky
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

16 / evaluation

Now, I'm biased when I'm going to say this, so take this with a pinch of salt, but I think the Accordion Method, the Accordion Method might be one of the things I'm the most proud of in my entire life because it's almost revolutionizing the way I think we should prepare speaking.

“Now, I'm biased when I'm going to say this, so take this with a pinch of salt, but I think the Accordion Method, the Accordion Method might be one of the things I'm the most proud of in my entire life because it's almost revolutionizing the way I think we should prepare speaking.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

17 / evaluation

This is a really important one, and this concept is called end strong. And it's, we had to bring this up because most people tend to end weak.

“This is a really important one, and this concept is called end strong. And it's, we had to bring this up because most people tend to end weak.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

18 / preference

One of my favorite maybe core insights and tenets of the way you approach teaching people to speak, is you talk about how if you don't enjoy speaking, you're doing it wrong.

“One of my favorite maybe core insights and tenets of the way you approach teaching people to speak, is you talk about how if you don't enjoy speaking, you're doing it wrong.”
Speaker
Lenny Rachitsky
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

19 / evaluation

I think we are too future focused as a species or as a society and as a result, we're always looking for the next thing. So the motto I share with my friends and my business partners and my family the most I think is these are the good old days.

“I think we are too future focused as a species or as a society and as a result, we're always looking for the next thing. So the motto I share with my friends and my business partners and my family the most I think is these are the good old days.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

20 / preference

We call it the bow and arrow technique because we think you can only remember one thing out of a talk and that it's very powerful to go through that framework or that kind of thinking when you're building a talk.

“We call it the bow and arrow technique because we think you can only remember one thing out of a talk and that it's very powerful to go through that framework or that kind of thinking when you're building a talk.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

21 / evaluation

There's something here that I'm doing that is making this unenjoyable that's probably not helping me. And I think you mentioned that in those people who can hold an audience who are really good communicators in business, it looks like they feel very comfortable, it looks like they feel like themselves.

“There's something here that I'm doing that is making this unenjoyable that's probably not helping me. And I think you mentioned that in those people who can hold an audience who are really good communicators in business, it looks like they feel very comfortable, it looks like they feel like themselves.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

22 / recommendation

This feels like a board game." And then we created, I have this, we created Speak Before You Think, the game for people who think too much, and this is a bunch of cards with all of our games.

“This feels like a board game." And then we created, I have this, we created Speak Before You Think, the game for people who think too much, and this is a bunch of cards with all of our games.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

23 / preference

You actually have to spend most of your time in the kitchen refining your intuition, testing things, experimenting, learning new recipes, and building your timing and everything that goes with it. But in speaking, we tend to do the opposite, probably because it's a little bit scary and because there aren't that many options out there to practice the speaking itself.

“You actually have to spend most of your time in the kitchen refining your intuition, testing things, experimenting, learning new recipes, and building your timing and everything that goes with it. But in speaking, we tend to do the opposite, probably because it's a little bit scary and because there aren't that many options out there to practice the speaking itself.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

24 / preference

I actually thought about this because once you think about speaking being much more about the root causes, like play the games that are going to change you at the root, don't focus on the symptoms, then you find yourself sharing much less purely tactical advice and frameworks because we're trying to get out of our brain into our subconscious.

“I actually thought about this because once you think about speaking being much more about the root causes, like play the games that are going to change you at the root, don't focus on the symptoms, then you find yourself sharing much less purely tactical advice and frameworks because we're trying to get out of our brain into our subconscious.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast

25 / recommendation

Solve that, and not only do the filler words take care of themselves, but the racing takes care of itself and you suddenly have more mind space. And if you feel super constrained in your speaking, very monotonous, then maybe you feel boxed in and you're struggling to allow yourself to feel to be all of what you are under pressure because there's probably a lack of certainty.

“Solve that, and not only do the filler words take care of themselves, but the racing takes care of itself and you suddenly have more mind space. And if you feel super constrained in your speaking, very monotonous, then maybe you feel boxed in and you're struggling to allow yourself to feel to be all of what you are under pressure because there's probably a lack of certainty.”
Publisher
Lenny's Podcast
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