Tristan de Montebello: recommendation

Transcript context

…Awesome, and we're going to show people how you do that. You do these games, they're games that you play that help you actually learn these skills. So before that, and also I want to get into actual tactics that we can just give people to become better public speakers. But right before we get there, are there any other core insights or principles or lessons that are fundamental to the way you found that it works to become a better public speaker, that kind of inform a lot of the stuff we're going to be talking about? The day I understood that speaking was a subconscious flow-oriented process and not a conscious process, completely changed the way I approached it. So instead of thinking tactics and frameworks and adding more to the outside of the things I need to think about, when I realized when I speak best, I'm actually not thinking about speaking. It's the last thing I think about is the speaking part. I'm completely in tune with whatever it is I'm trying to convey to my audience or the person in front of me. And the goal is to get into a flow state and stay in that flow state all the way through the finish line. That's what really, really changed my mindset about speaking, because then it changes all of the exercise, the exercises you want to do. It changes how you can think about speaking. And one of the ways that changed how I practiced was, instead of focusing on the symptoms of speaking, I started to try and figure out, well, what are the root causes that create these symptoms, and can I address those? So instead of counting my filler words, if that's something that's annoying to me, I'm going to go back and try to figure out, well, what's the root cause of that? Well, the root cause of having lots of filler words or racing in your speaking, is that you probably struggle to feel comfortable slowing down, relaxing, or even pausing when your mind is racing and you feel pressure. Solve that, and not only do the filler words take care of themselves, but the racing takes care of itself and you suddenly have more mind space. And if you feel super constrained in your speaking, very monotonous, then maybe you feel boxed in and you're struggling to allow yourself to feel to be all of what you are under pressure because there's probably a lack of certainty. A lack of trust in, hey, if I let myself be more intense or if I let some of these emotions pop out, or if I take a time to gather my thoughts, is everything going to unravel, or is that going to work for me? And if you haven't proven that to yourself, then you're just going to go for safety and so you're going to be very monotonous and constrained, and that's creates monotony. But if I can solve that, suddenly I have freedom. So thinking through this and understanding that the goal here is upgrading the software and it's really layering, taking all the bad habits away and putting in new habits that I can just stay in this flow state without getting pulled out, that really changes the game. That is a really interesting insight, and I love that you actually demoed that in the way you answered this question, where you took time to get into that state and not just get, um... It's just like, pause.…

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