Tristan de Montebello: uncertainty

Transcript context

…And it's interesting, as we were talking, where my mind keeps going is I just want to say how I didn't feel good about my performance, but I'm internalizing the lesson of don't leak how you feel. And that's a really powerful lesson. It's really hard not to just to be like, "Oh, that was not good." I really wanted to say that after every time I tried this and I am making myself not. And I imagine from your perspective you're like, "No, it's fine. It's like whatever." Yeah, absolutely. I was actually thinking, I bet a lot of people watching you do that would think, wow, I don't think I could do that. That would be their first thought. So absolutely. And again, and this is a habit. And the noise doesn't completely disappear, but it goes down to being almost imperceptible. So what we're trying to do is we're trying to internalize all of these habits to the point where I don't need to consciously think about them. So it's like a gymnast who's doing their tumbling routine and jumps into the air. As they're flipping, they're not consciously trying to think of how to do a flip. They've done it a thousand times. They know how to do a flip. The only thing they have that they may be thinking of, all of their attention is on being completely present to what's happening, relying on your body and your subconscious knowing what to do, is they have kind of like listeners, like in programming, keyboard listeners. You have something that's there that is just listening for anything out of the ordinary. And it's very, very fine-tuned. So as I'm speaking, for example, I might think to myself, "Oh, I may be rambling right now. Maybe I'm going a little bit too long." And it's a little listener that's going to just gently, nicely, say, "Hey, warning, I don't know if you're aware of this. " And as I hear that, I might say, "Oh, okay, let me wrap it up." Or maybe it's saying, "I'm not sure if you're being clear," or, "Can you be more precise here?". Whatever it is, it's just a gentle listener in the background. So as you get into the habit of staying in character, and if you had an audience here, we could have asked them right away, "Well, how do you feel about this?". You probably would've gotten really good feedback, really positive, which would've kind of jarred that feeling of, wow, I didn't think I did it that good of a job. And people are saying, "Hey, I thought that was pretty good." So As you get that reinforcing pattern, the voice starts going down more and more. Awesome. I need that voice to go down. That'd be great.…

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