Tristan de Montebello: evaluation

Transcript context

…Okay. So kind of building on what you just talked about, some of this insight of, your life can improve and how you kind of always have to unlearn stuff. One of my favorite maybe core insights and tenets of the way you approach teaching people to speak, is you talk about how if you don't enjoy speaking, you're doing it wrong. And that really helped me because you kind of encourage, you kind of remind people, try to have fun as you're doing. Can you just talk about that insight and why that's important and how that helps people become better? Well, I think that's very tied to what you were saying. I see enjoyment as a barometer, if I'm doing things right, I'm probably enjoying myself. If I'm doing things wrong, particularly with speaking, because again, this is something we're naturally evolved to do. So if we're naturally evolved to do it, it's not something that we dislike doing. It has to be something that rewards us. So as soon as things start not feeling enjoyable, it's a sign, hey, I'm probably doing this wrong, guy. There's something here that I'm doing that is making this unenjoyable that's probably not helping me. And I think you mentioned that in those people who can hold an audience who are really good communicators in business, it looks like they feel very comfortable, it looks like they feel like themselves. And if you think about speaking, when you're talking with your kids, or with your partner, or with your best friend, your childhood friend, your parents, ever, we all have environments where we feel completely like ourselves. And when we do, communication is extraordinarily enjoyable. It's just a means to connect with other people, a means to share what we have on our mind and it's very, very empowering and it feels very good. Then I take the same person with the same skill set and the same ability and I bring them in a business setting, and suddenly I don't feel like myself anymore. And because of the pressure, I start trying to speak differently. So people start having, I'm going to try to think really hard of what I need to say and I want to control the words that are going to come out of my mouth before they come out of my mouth so I make sure I don't make a mistake. And you basically loop in this thing that is so counter what communication is, which is just a natural subconscious scale. So using speaking as a barometer of, hey, if this is not feeling good, I'm probably overthinking. I probably need to relax and try to just feel a little bit more like myself. But this also applies to practice, where in your practice, because this is not an overnight thing, you can't just snap your fingers, read a book, and be a better speaker. Well, your practice has to be enjoyable as well because otherwise two weeks in, you're going to quit just like a shitty fitness journey or diet. Right? You have to find joy in it and it has to be structured in a way where it rewards you as well, so that you get more energy and you get more enjoyment while you do it. Awesome, and we're going to show people how you do that. You do these games, they're games that you play that help you actually learn these skills. So before that, and also I want to get into actual tactics that we can just give people to become better public speakers. But right before we get there, are there any other core insights or principles or lessons that are fundamental to the way you found that it works to become a better public speaker, that kind of inform a lot of the stuff we're going to be talking about?…

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