Lenny Rachitsky: belief

Transcript context

…So I think sometimes it is about alignment, the disagree and commit. So I see that a lot of founders saying, "Hey, I'm super respectful of your differing opinion here, and I totally validate you and I appreciate you. Thank you so much for sharing that." But they're not willing to go that extra step and say, "Yeah, but this is the call and I need you to actually follow through with that. I understand that might be disappointing or frustrating or what have you, but part of the expectation for this role is that you can roll with disagree and commit sometimes when that's necessary." That's an awesome example. I fully get that and I could see how scary that is to a lot of people. One is just coming to terms with, "This is what I actually want to be doing, but I just don't feel like I can because it's going to, I think, upset people. " Okay. So what else can you suggest people do to help identify what it is they want and articulate what they want? So you talked about pay attention to just like, "Oh, this would be better. If this changed, I'd be happier." Or things would probably run better. That's a really cool example of how to think do that because easy, just like, "Oh yeah, if we actually can make a decision in this meeting, that'd be really cool." Maybe we should try to do that and ask for that. Is there any other tips and approaches to helping you figure out what you want? It always comes back to integrity. And a great way to do an integrity check is to just look have I fully expressed myself? And so I think we've talked a little bit about charting your feelings as a piece of that of like, "Yeah, am I really tuning into how annoyed I am or how frustrated I am or how nervous I am?" Because if I haven't fully owned those feelings and expressed those in whatever way is appropriate, then probably I'm not fully in integrity. I think saying what you have to say is a piece of that too. "Gosh, is there something that I keep thinking about and I'm just like three or four days, I'm just like, man, I really want to say this to this person." At this point, you're probably out of integrity because there's something deep in you that really needs to say this, right? And so to me, articulating what you want is really about mindfulness is about checking for all these things. What is the part of me that's not fully expressed? Because it doesn't mean I'm going to get what I want or that people are going to give me all my dreams immediately, but it feels so much better to have it out. That sort of suffering that fear usually comes from holding it in and saying, "Oh, having these stories of I'm not allowed to say that. It's not appropriate to express that I'm bored in this meeting." Versus saying, "Probably a lot of people would be grateful if we said out loud, 'I'm bored in this meeting.' Let's move things along."…

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