Phyl Terry: uncertainty

Transcript context

…[inaudible 01:25:56]. That's amazing. Let me ask one last question around the art of asking for help. So we've talked about when to ask for help a little bit. What are just a couple tips for how to do it well? You know, people come to me and like, "Hey, can you look at this email?" And be like, "No. I'm pretty busy. I don't know if I have time to look at an email." Have to think about the relationship, right? Again, showing that this random, small software company wanted to talk to Marissa Meyer. I didn't know them, they didn't know me, and they didn't know Marissa. That's not going to happen, right? Lenny, if your mom or your close friend or your colleague who you work closely with says, "I want you to look at this email," you're going to respond in one way. If some person, let's say in your podcast community, which is great, wants you to do it, I mean, you have thousands of people there. You can't do that. People come to me for job search advice in the job search community. I said, "I can't do that. I can't scale that. That's what the Job Search Council and the Slack community is there for. I appreciate you asking, but that's what the deal is there." You got to think about the relationship. Listen to your emotions. This is where, again, emotions are really important for decision making. If your emotions are telling you, "I don't know if I trust this person," don't get all open and vulnerable with them. I want you to learn to ask for help in a counsel format where it's really safe. You can flail around. You can ask in fakakta ways. There's ways to ask for help where it's like... Have you experienced this, Lenny? Where I want you to do me a favor, but I'm actually acting like I'm doing you a favor. Lenny, I have this person to talk to I know is really going to be great for you to talk to, when really I'm trying to get you to give me... Whereas I should said, "Lenny, I have a favor to ask. Would you be willing to do this?" You just say yes or no. That's the other thing, I really want you to be honest with people about what you're asking. I never want you to hide the ask. That is really good advice. A lot of times it's just, yeah, okay, if this is just a favor for you, absolutely.…

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