Carole Robin: preference

Transcript context

…Amazing. So we'll link to that in the show notes. And as you talk through all of these lessons and pieces of advice, it makes so much sense why this is something you need to do. Because I imagine what's happening in the class here is you do this with someone and then you hear the reality and it often surprises you. Right? Exactly. Because often we say it takes two to know one, I don't know what impact I'm having on you until you tell me. And I have to be willing to be a little vulnerable to ask. And if we go back to that first activity that you asked me to describe way at the beginning, then we put them back in pairs and we say, okay, now that you've learned a little bit about feedback, tell your partner what they did that made it easier for you to disclose more and be more willing to be more vulnerable and/or what they did that made it a little harder. And right there in the moment, you learned something about yourself that you might never have known. Somebody says, you looked away as I was talking, you might not have even known you did that. You looked at your watch. And I love this. One of my greatest moments when I was teaching was that I asked a question. I was teaching in a big lecture hall at the law school, and they didn't have any clocks on the wall. And I asked a question and a student began answering, and I just glanced at my watch just because I was trying to figure out where I was in terms of when I had to wrap up. And he walked up to me after class and he said, "Professor, I felt disrespected when you looked at your watch while I was answering," I hugged him. Well, first I asked him if it was okay, "Is it okay if I hug you?" And then I hugged him. And I love how so much of this is like, we never get this feedback in real life. No one ever tells us this thing you did is distracting them, annoying them, making them feel like they're not being heard.…

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