Lenny Rachitsky: preference

Transcript context

…If you're not anxiously chasing something. Yeah, exactly. If you're just like, "Why do I need that? I don't need to be the CEO of the VP because like, oh, I won't attach to that. " And then, so people fear that downside. So I asked this question at this retreat and the advice they shared there was don't attach to this idea, but just point your cart in that direction and head there. Yeah, I like that. Look, the fear you're talking about is the fear of complacency. And if we look at the structures of the mind and we look at our socialization, the way we're socialized to ward off complacency is anxiety. And so, if we go back to some of the things we were saying before, if I grow up believing that the way I'm going to make my parents love me is by achieving, then if I become complacent, then what's at risk is their love for me. So just like we made the connection before where unconditional love exists, unconditional positive regard for self, otherwise known as self-compassion can be a powerful motivator, especially when you get to the point where you say, "As painful as it is for me to write, I enjoy writing. I enjoy working out. I enjoy pushing myself. I don't necessarily enjoy it in the moment." But I certainly, when I look at two books on my desk and I say, "You know what? That feels good. That makes me happy." To me, the ability to hold the seeming contradiction of those things is a hallmark of my adulthood. It's to get satisfaction out of hard work for me is a much greater motivator than fear of complacency. As I've sort of slip-slided my way into that place, I have found... I work seven days a week. I don't have to, but I enjoy it.…

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