Lex Fridman: belief

Transcript context

…So the benefits are that you can, well, live authentically. You can just be yourself. So I do feel more free in who I am and who I’m able to be online, for example, now that I’m out. Because I came out in my 30s, I think also it was almost a foot-in-the-door technique, which is a psychological technique of first coming in and then coming with your big ask. And so I’d already published two books. I was already an established scientist. I think if I tried “bi” first, I, A, wouldn’t have been able to publish the book. It was the first mainstream book on bisexuality ever. And B, I don’t think I would’ve been taken seriously as a scientist. So having the other stuff first and then “bi” as a side project, that was acceptable. But I think the other way around wouldn’t have been. I think it was still brave, I think. I think you mentioned somewhere, maybe in an interview, that there was some concern of being sexualized when you covered the topic of sexuality. There still is, but I actually find that it’s done the opposite most of the time. I think as a woman, especially a young woman who’s in the public eye, you’re sexualized anyway, unfortunately. And so that is and was already a huge part of my online experience. And actually, I think coming out as bi, A, you get allies who suddenly are like, “We’re on your side. We’re going to help you fight the hypersexualization.” And people get almost more weird about it in a good way. They get a bit quiet about it because they’re like, “Oh, well, now it’s an identity thing, so maybe I shouldn’t comment on what she’s wearing.” And it almost disarmed some of the more sexualized comments. So for me, I have to say it was mostly a positive experience.…

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