Ken Norton: preference

Transcript context

…Can I ask you a quick question? Just to clarify the two sides, what's a sign that you're in the reactive side of things? I think one thing you said is you're worrying a lot about how people think about you and make sure that they like you. Is there anything else that's going to tell a listener, "Oh, maybe I'm falling into this trap"? Yeah, you've nailed it, which is that fear, like operating from a place of anxiety. There are different ways, depending on our mindsets, our approaches. I like the word postures because it seems to click different ways that we retreat into this reactive mode. Fear and anxiety is the way. That's how you know. You're just like, "Ugh, I'm below the line." I'm just like I'm seeing problems. I'm seeing threats. Our brains are hardwired to do that, so it's not like that's wrong. These are brains that learn to do that, I don't know, on the tundra being chased by wild animals. So this is our normal way of being. There might be different desires and needs that force you to operate that way. We think there's really three of these postures. Anybody is probably more than one of them, so this is not pathologizing. This isn't putting you in a box. But probably one of these will resonate more than the others. Wanting to be approved, wanting to be loved, wanting other people to like you. This was me in my early part of my career. Same.…

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