Joe Hudson: preference

Transcript context

…This is counterproductive. It is counterproductive. I think that the really cool thing about it is you can look at any issue that you're having in your life, so you can say, oh, one of the problems that I have in my life is that I am constantly in an argument with my girlfriend or boyfriend, let's say. What is the thing that you don't want to feel in that argument? I don't want to feel ashamed. You're getting in arguments because you don't want to feel ashamed, and that's making you feel more ashamed. What am I doing at that first time to not feel ashamed? I'm defending myself. Oh, and me defending myself is actually the thing that's starting the fight. You can backward engineer it to, oh, I don't want to feel ashamed, therefore I'm going to defend myself, which creates the fight, which makes me feel more ashamed. Any problem that you're having, you can actually backwards engineer it and see, oh, I can solve that problem by just being okay with that feeling. God damn it, you didn't take out the trash. Oh, that's a shame I don't want to feel. I'm not going to defend myself. I'm going to feel that shame. Oh, yeah, then maybe I'm going to say I'm sorry I didn't take out the trash, or I'm going to say, I don't feel ashamed, I don't want to take out the trash. I have to defend myself to get in the fight, and then I'm going to feel ashamed. You can reverse engineer all your problems this way. It's like it's such a cool hack, but it's very hard. For somehow or another, it's very simple, but very hard for people to utilize. This is amazing. The advice is basically feel the thing and just come to terms with this is the emotion I'm feeling, and maybe, like an example, the asshole. Well, maybe I'm an asshole.…

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