Joe Hudson: commitment

Transcript context

…Wow, okay. There's a lot there. It connects to something I know you recently talked about, which is the emotion we want to avoid is the thing we end up experiencing a lot by trying to avoid it. What's going on there? Since I'm coach executives, let's do an executive example, so conflict avoidant executive. I don't want to feel the out of control in this that I do when people argue. I don't want to feel that level of out of control, so I am going to be conflict avoidant. I'm going to avoid conflict. Every way that we go to avoid a feeling, becomes the way that, that feeling gets invited towards us. We all know what it's like to work for a conflict-avoidant CEO or a boss, people get really fucking upset. Eventually, people get really upset. Decisions aren't being made. There's all this tension. It's never relieved. Then wow, sure enough, the conflict-avoidant CEO is dealing with a whole organization that's tense and they feel completely out of control and the fact that they can't do anything about, so that's an example. Or when I was younger, it was emotional abandonment. My dad was an alcoholic, and I didn't want to feel that emotional abandonment again, and so I would get really hard when I felt like people were leaving me, I'd be like, "What the dah, dah, dah, dah, dah?" Which of course, made them abandon me quicker, or I would try to caretaker people, which would build resentment, which would make people abandon me. Whatever emotion that you're trying to avoid, you are inviting into your life in exactly the way that you're trying to avoid it. What the hell? Why does this happen?…

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