Susan Cain: preference

Transcript context

…Do people move along the spectrum often? And I ask this because I feel like I've definitely become more extroverted over time. I used to be super shy and very, very afraid of public speaking and big social things, and I've just learned to not be as much, and I still definitely am. So is it common for people to move along the spectrum, and did they move in both directions, or is it usually from introvert to extrovert? Okay, so first of all, I've had the exact same trajectory you just described. I used to be terrified of public speaking, now I do it all the time. I used to be quite shy. I would say I am still a shy person, but it's not as much a top of mind, every day type of reality. Now that's not really describing, I don't believe, becoming more extroverted, that's more describing acquiring skills and also managing fears. And even managing learning to manage a fear is a type of skill. So what happens is as we grow and gain experience, we acquire all kinds of skills of the kind you were just talking about. But I still come back to that question I asked at the beginning of like, how would you spend your time when you have no obligations? Because on that score, most of us actually become more introverted with time. And I don't know if you would describe yourself this way, but I remember for me, even though I was a shy person in high school, I would come home from school and spend my whole evening talking to all my friends on the phone. And I would never do that now. And psychologists have studied this, so people tend to mellow out over time. So if you are, let's say the third most extroverted person in your high school, and then you go to your high school reunion 40 years later, you'll probably still be one of the most extroverted people in your class, but all of you will have chilled out and calmed down quite a bit. And that's a separate dimension from that dimension of learning to be a public speaker and all that kind of stuff. That is so interesting. I never thought of it this way. I've always thought I'm getting more extroverted because I'm doing more of this sort of thing, and enjoying things like this more. It's so interesting to reframe it into, I've just learned how to cope and be successful in these situations, but I'm still the same.…

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